Well, if you’re reading this the ancient Mayans were wrong and life as we know it has continued into 2013. It was reported that a new calendar was discovered in a Mayan Temple in the rain forests at Xultun in Guatemala with a life sized mural of a Mayan King and astronomical/numerology calendar symbols showing moon phases in years preserved on walls proving that the much discussed/feared and apocalyptically claimed Dec 21, end of the world prophecy was indeed not the end of days rather the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. But as many bands had certainly taken advantage of the day with such a built in metal theme, why not play a metal show on the last day on earth. At least we’ll all be banging our heads as the sky falls and hell, fire and brimstone hit the earth.
Though nothing earth shattering actually occurred and no rain of blood or fires from the sky scorched the planet, the weather was cold but normal. Though there were reports of a mushroom shaped cloud hovering over McGuffys before dark. Four bands braved the years prophesized final hours playing their best and most brutal metal for the packed house of ‘mostly’ heaven bound souls if rapture did happen.
Then I saw an angel come down from Heaven holding a key to the Killbox and a huge chain in his hand (Revelations Chapter 20 Verse 1)
We begin the beginning of the end opening up the Killbox
to play with Armageddon’s favorite tools of mass destruction. Northern Kentucky’s the home to one of the genre’s newest metal making sons. Formed in 2011 and though they’re still in their infernal infancy, had much to offer this year and the ear. Named in part after an Overkill album, the group incorporates a loud, rabid speed infection to their heavy drive and loud intensity. The ferocious angry assault of Coming Back borrows the best iron rimmed canine gnashers snarling in your face ready to shred flesh with a red eyed slobbering hunger. They sound proud to sound so damn pissed off and for good reason. If you knew for sure tomorrow wasn’t coming you’d sound off spitting out some life spanning venom too. Weaponry speaking a Killbox is a three-dimensional target area, designed to facilitate the integration of coordinate joint weapons fire. It’s an open free fire zone and a chance to ‘Fire at will commander’ so to speak. Together we all Embraced the Second Coming and the second Mayan calendar. The Mike Muir headband wearing, David Draiman looking Brad Brochers belts out a screeching Sully Erna tangled in chains range with a little bit of Bobby Blitz and Dez Fafara for the rasp. They dedicate a tune to all the fallen hero’s including Dimebag. They dare standing up against the end and say it’s not over Till I Say It’s Over.
The first horror is over, after this there are still two more horrors to come. (Revelation chapter 9 verse 12) Then the main event.
When the first angel blew his trumpet there came hail and then fire mixed with blood which was hurled down to the earth. A third of the land was scorched along with a third of the trees and every green plant. (Revelation chapter 8 verse 7) Hence the forces of nature are seen.
One of Dayton’s major forces to be reckoned with Forces of Nature
brought all of nature’s preliminary fury supplying a veracious wall of sound echoing from the stage to the earthbound skies above. Saturday December 22 proved the D-Day calendar was just Deception. Rotten Tooth pounded the brain like a bad incisor dangling from the inner oral cavity. Following was a mob of screaming, frantic populous Throwing Fists on board the off track Midnight Meat Train locomotive trying to outrun fate toward the Holy Lights. It will happen again, Nevermore. If the prophecies had been true, the world would be nothing but a huge Forest of Corpses on a Black Earth. With a steel spiked boot up the ass goodbye.
Then I looked and I heard an eagle that was flying high in the air say in a loud voice, O horror! Horror! How horrible it will be for all who live on earth when the sound comes from the band that the other three bands and audience must hear. (Revelation chapter 9 verse 13, paraphrased) The sound of Armageddon is upon us.
Dayton’s answer to what a prison riot during a madman’s symphony would sound like took over the stage and sound waves playing an almost indescribable audio-ambivalent two song set of Opeth length tunes strung together by movie samples, screams, growls, instruments played and sounds put together in a cornucopias mismatch of sound that God and nature never intended. But since it was the end, it was time to take a long mental disconnect down the Lost Highway drawing First Blood. Time to bust open the padded cell for a train wreck in the brain. We’re all honored guests at this madman’s tea party of the damned. Sipping the best cup of earl grey with a touch of sugar cubed cyanide. Collective in cohesion done to perfection coming out of a soundbox/turntable possessed by the souls of a hundred departed musicians. Slow, quiet musical whispers in the mind to full blown psycho-pandemonium. Cold sweat down the back as blood stained eyes stare wide eyed into the stretching darkness, crystallized limbs reach out from fragments of memories grabbing, juggling, and spinning your mind into a paranoid schizophrenic war dance. Like Swallowing Swords with a grenade chaser. I tried to make sense of this beautiful insanity, but I Died Trying
Then I saw a group of beasts coming up, out of the sea. They had many instruments and seven heads each wearing a hideous mask. (Revelation chapter 13 verse 1, paraphrased.)
One of Cleveland’s most bizarre and infamous exports, Mushroomhead, the seven man masked men traveling demented carnival nightmare came out dressed in their blood splattered dinner suit best. Comprised of a singing/rapping team of pain and pleasure divine, Waylon’s cast face looked like he’d had a few go arounds with Pinheads toy box while Jeffrey Nothing looks like he took a double sawed off shotgun blast to the face and lived to sing about it. Keyboard striker Shmotz sports another mashed up faceplate of the mushroom horde sporting a spiked army helmet of the marching dead. Bass was played by the human gargoyle Dr. F with guitars strummed by the human Collector known as Church. Backstage gets Skinny on the drums while front stage water drums bashing courtesy of a dread locked skeleton and a robotic HH Giger cyber holiday reindeer, respectively.
Every song sung played like a story from a book of twisted nursery rhymes, like Mother Goose but just the Grimm. Accompanied by a pleasant holiday array of strobe and Christmas stage lights, lasers, hand held spotlights and overall sick merry mayhem. The human horror movie performance artists lived up to their hallucinogenic ingested namesake. It was indeed Jigsaws favorite torture music.
They started 12 Hundred with a Bwomp, Come On, the blood splattered MMA love song, Save Me from the next Brain Hemorrhage before I Kill Tomorrow so the Sun Doesn’t Shine. They play the dead man’s hand on Solitaire Unraveling and were Born of Desire to fill all the Empty Spaces in the wall. The mad masked men have promised a new record this year so 2013 will be the year of the Mushroom.