Don’t worry, I’m a paramedic.
31 cars and drivers have gone missing over the last 20 years in the Bermuda triangle of back roads with teen drivers counting 29% in the last 30 in Bristol County flashes over the opening credits.
Old 37 star horror icons Bill Moseley and Kane Hodder, as tortured sons of the abusing, sadistic patriarch Kenneth Simmons. Haunted by childhood memories of emotional, physical, psychological torment they continue their fathers work, picking up accident victims in their ambulance and going “off road” for assistance.
The movie plays half-slash between the teen drama of Amy (Caitlin Harris,) her friends and classmates. Characters mixing between the innocent, crowd followers with a conscious, the shallow prissy rich bitches you want dead within ten minutes and the guy that films everything. Mary (Sascha Knopf) as Amy’s sympathetic ‘hot’ mom and flashbacks of Jon Roy and Darryl’s childhood trauma and current carnage fill out the adult drama.
Amy makes the viewer care with the most character depth leading to some emotional scenes after the loss of her friend Angel (Brandi Cyrus). As the movie quickly progresses Amy decides to get ‘surgery’ and a makeover to be more like the other girls (she despises) to win the attention of Jordan (Jake Robinson).
The movie mirrors Texas Chainsaw Massacre along with teen TV drama. Gore effects are good as seeing Hodders masked facials and voiceless character be subservient to Moseley.
All the victims are thrown into the ‘meat wagon.’ There’s kind of an I Know What You Did Last Summer vibe during the road accident scenes and a darkly amusing karma comparison sequence between Amy’s surgery/makeover and another characters demise ‘getting what they deserve.’
While there’s enough violence and gore to satisfy horror fans, the film carries much more thought and emotional depth, addressing characters vulnerabilities, life issues and inner turmoil. Old 37, definitely has more brains than an average slasher. Without the flashbacks there’s almost a feeling of two separate stories sewn together. It’s not the group of hapless victims going to the killer’s realm but a story that explains the connection of two very different and separate families through a serious of events. A good flick for Hodder and Moseley fans and to see Hodder do the chicken dance, after all the stalker roles he’s known for might be worth the viewing itself.
